Dr Umar Needs a Blow Job

Written by Chevy Chinburn

The idea of marrying within your culture isn’t new: Muslim toddlers marry their cousins, Jews marry Jews, Chinese marry cheap labour, and whites aren’t allowed to promote their culture because they’re all a bunch of shit head racists who have a bogus history and no top 10 NBA players. Whites are terrible, in my opinion we should outlaw sunscreen and chemotherapy, then watch them go wild like a blister in the sun. I digress though. The philosophy of love is convoluted, requiring answers I just don’t have. I agree with Dr Umar that marriage, and partnership are definitely a reflection of your value system. Everything we do is a projection of our inner state: the cloths we wear, the location of our homes, the friends we surround ourselves with. Fighting for your people, striving for justice in a community that’s been systematically abused, is a noble trait. I sympathise with militant blacks, I can’t truly empathise with them, granted I’ve watched The Wire at least three times. It doesn’t matter how hard your life is, we must shine a light on bad values, work towards true tolerance and acceptance for all. Love is love. How another person finds happiness in their personal life is none of your fucking business. Love a smart phone, fuck a dead kangaroo, pay some dominatrix to fiercely cheese crate your testicles while finger bashing your dot whole. Anyone that has a problem with that, is just an arsehole, plain and simple.

Dr Umar claims that love is political. Fuck that. What is this? Game of Thrones? What if you’re just some black kid who works at Mcdonald’s, what fucking politics is he involved in? Does he have to go out and find some nappy haired Neo-African who plays the bongo so he isn’t deemed a traitor?

Dr Umar asserts that any black who marries a white woman hates themselves deep down. That kind of judgment seems like he’s compensating for something. Impending on someone’s private life is a sign of serious derangement. He is essentially accusing people of thought crimes, applying a collectivist attitude. He simultaneously claims Blacks need to unite, while outcasting anyone that doesn’t love someone he deems appropriate. It’s sick, and the sign of an internally distressed man.

While a woman or man from a different background than you may never truly understand your struggle or where you’ve come from, and a major part of love is being understood and embraced by a fellow human. Dr Umar fails to realise that just because you both grew up in the hood, doesn’t mean you’ll be satisfied with each other. My parents came from the same culture and can’t fucking stand the sight of each other. You claim that a women’s parents from a different culture won’t accept you, motherfucker my parents don’t even accept me.

My girlfriend is Armenian, but after I come home after a long hard 12 hour day at work, I don’t immediately ask, “hey babe, has Turkey recognised the genocide yet?” During foreplay I’m not rubbing her clit while asking about the residual effects of soviet rule still permeating in Armenian society. I come home, ask her about what she had for lunch, if her boss is still a douche and what she wants to do this weekend. Love can be just about enjoying the simple things together, embracing each other and providing an emotional cushion for the hard knocks of life. Life is a dirty game, why complicate it? Just be who you want to be as an individual, that doesn’t mean turning your back on anyone. Just do you, keep it a hunnit, no matter what that looks like. In 50 years now humans will have almost morphed into each other, the current population trends point towards all of our great great grand children being brown. The KKK don’t look to be a success, White America is destined to get a shade darker.

By the way Mr Dr Umar, if you look at this and don’t get lustful, you’re a liar my brother.

Just Let people be

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