Is Democracy Meant To Be Annoying?

Written by Chevy Chinburn

Liberal Democracy, the greatest political system ever created. If you disagree with that, you better know how to build a bomb shelter because Air Force one is coming to change your worthless fucking opinion.

Democratic principles adhere to the will of the majority, value openness, freedom of thought and the right to self determination. The future is yours. Dictatorships for the impoverished, freedom for the educated.

Australia is ranked as the the 3rd most functional democracy in the world, despite two elected prime ministers being knifed in the last 6 years, our system seems utopian in comparison to most countries. If you ask the average blue collar battler about those damn crooks in Canberra get ready for an earful. Public outrage towards its leaders is almost routine, sometimes warranted, other times just a way to shift the blame of one’s own faults.I agree that leaders must be scrutinized, held to a higher standard than most. In my short meaningless time on planet earth I’ve seen a few elections, major parties promising everything from free laptops, railways from Melbourne to Sydney, debt-free education, eradication of racism, equality for all, 900 bucks stimulus package, Muslims deported, Asians deported, more Muslims, more Asians, public holidays, high wages, more jobs, fast cars, free public transport, the right to kill myself and much, much more. Ultimately both major parties sell bullshit, we know it and they pretend not too. Out of three major election promises, generally only one comes to fruition.

Now I’m not mad because I believe in myself more than the system, however one aspect that we fail to sympathies with is how fucking difficult it is to govern. If Australia was inhabited by 25 million Elon Musk-like characters, utopia might be possible. Only problem is most people are retarded simpletons who don’t really care for the nuances of Governance and are just waiting for a reason to be angry at someone else for their lives.

For all its faults Australia is still justly labeled the lucky country, despite its exuberant tax rates. Most of our capitals frequently rate as the most livable cities. I’m willingly pay 40 percent of my wage to some MP to get a blowjob from a 14 year old in Thailand just for the privilege of safety. Have you seen Africa? Only thing I want to do there is hunt Albinos and sell them to witch doctors. Our country is so well run most Australians would literally die if they had to live somewhere else.

While we’ll never compare to the pageantry of American elections, what we do steal is their aptitude for nonsense. Well I denounce nonsense in all forms, instead I endorse common sense, common sense in regards to making my life a little less irritating.

I’m an ordinary man with humble needs, an average bloke fighting for his fair share, fuck a laptop, fuck a green future, fuck free education, fuck islam, fuck jobs, fuck humanitarian aid, fuck the Illuminati, and fuck you. Stop talking to me like I believe you. Politicians remind me of a doctor telling a cancer sufferer about miracles, I don’t want to hear about shooting for the stars, just give some high quality medical weed and let me die laughing.

What do I mean by less annoying?, firstly I want speed cameras reevaluated then eradicated, if it’s really free a country, I should be free to drive over 100kms on a highway late at night. The effectiveness of speed cameras depends on your goal, in terms of revenue raising they are great, but is road safety improved? Not really and a bunch of surveys conducted by white coats that I’m too lazy to reference suggest otherwise. Complete freedom on the roads isn’t the answer, obviously school zones, shops, hospitals need a controlled environment, but the eastlink at 10pm should be free reign. Speed cameras make drivers angry, angry drivers create danger, sometimes a 60 zone could be an 80 zone, what’s the harm? What’s the difference between hitting a pole at 100kms and 120kms, end result is the same.

Speeding fines are too damn high, just thinking about the nasty letter you get in the mail gives me an aneurysm, it triggers me. The whole fine system in general is too much. P platers get 5 demerit points for 3 years, and not displaying P plates is a 360 dollar fine on top of 3 demerit points, for not displaying a target on your car that has nothing to do with your driving and is merely a way for cops to target young people. Not just raping me but eating my dinner too.

Nothing grinds my gears like Victoria road rules, so much so I may be inclined to enjoy a sneaky beer or two on a Friday to unwind. On private property of course, god forbid you bring a stubby to the beach. After paying for the privilege of driving with registration , then paying more for a toll road (the only way home), fined for not sticking a P to my window, banged 3 demerit points, verge of losing my license and taxed at the verge of gunpoint. My bank account only allows for a six pack and a long neck.Only problem is I don’t have a way home, don’t worry old mate mick has let me borrow his push bike. “STOP RIGHT THERE EVIL DOER!!!! Riding a push bike drunk? I don’t think so, that’s illegal.” Can you hear the pompous cop giving a lecture on who has to clean the body up, I can and I don’t care, you signed up for the job and sometimes you’re faced with grisly situations, it’s not all cheap maccas and pouring teenager’s cruisers out. If i want to take the risk of cracking my head open riding a bicycle. I’m within my tax paying rights to do so.

That’s what cops fail to understand, and I’m not going complete black lives matter here, if a bunch of sudos gate crash a 16th first thing I do is call the YMCA look alikes , they serve a purpose,I appreciate them, only their purpose is blurred, they’re indoctrinated to follow orders enforcing the law, which is fine as long as the law is there for public safety, not for revenue raising henchmen for corporate nerds.

Police should all come together and tell their masters that they’re here to help, not here to irritate. There’s many unnecessary laws, like ones with wider implications like marijuana prohibition. Since we’re taking notes too, how about the government fucks right off with their save people from themselves department, death photos on ciggies, why not just let someone enjoy a vice in peace? There’s not a person alive that thinks lighting something on fire and inhaling the smoke is good for you, just let a tragic be a tragic. That goes for gambling too, enough of this babysitting only 500 dollars a day atms, I’m ruining my back at a meaningless job now let me throw it all away on senseless bets and machines. Stop trying to save people from themselves, life’s messy, inheritances get thrown into pokies, people get drunk and fall of bikes, some smoke to be cool and others just want the cops to mind their own business.

There’s a myriad of rules and regulations that make day to day living harder than it needs to be, but if we are truly in control of our own future, it’s time to congregate, articulate and then demand are simple needs. In 2007 France tried to cut penalty rates for their workers, causing mass civil unrest, burning cars, Molotov cocktails and fear of the guillotine being brought back. French Politicians promptly revoked these laws and order was returned, an effective protest. It may time for Australians to channel the French, kick a few cars or destroy a Starbucks to remind there’s pollies who really runs shit around here.

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